Today we enter the month of Elul, the Jewish month leading up to the High Holidays.
This month of Elul is a time to prepare for growth, strengthen our connection with G-d, and increase in mitzvot—especially kindness and tzedakah, giving to those in need.
I want to share a story I heard from veteran Chabad Rabbi Shmuel Lew of London, England, may he live and be well.
A 12-year-old boy who looked different from his classmates was often excluded when they played together. His mother spoke to his Jewish school in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, but when the situation did not improve, she wrote to the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson.
The Rebbe responded strongly. He warned the school that if they did not address the situation, he would personally come there (for context- this was unheard of)!
A few months later, the boy celebrated his Bar Mitzvah at a synagogue some distance from 770, the Rebbe’s synagogue in Brooklyn.
That Shabbat, the Rebbe would normally lead a farbrengen—a large gathering of teaching and song attended by thousands of people for a few hours. This was the community highlight in Crown Heights of the week.
But to everyone’s surprise, the Rebbe announced that there would be no farbrengen that day because of the boy’s Bar Mitzvah.
Now, there was enough time for people to attend the Bar Mitzvah and still return for the farbrengen. But the Rebbe wanted them to stay. He wanted the community to spend time with the boy, befriend him, and show him that he belonged.
Why was changing the whole community schedule so important?
Perhaps the answer can be found at the end of this week’s Torah portion, Shoftim.
The Torah describes what must happen when a person is found murdered outside a city and the killer is unknown. The elders of the closest town perform a special ceremony and declare, “Our hands did not spill this blood.” (Read the passage in Deuteronomy 21)
Our Sages ask an obvious question: Would anyone suspect these respected leaders of murder?
The answer is that they are declaring that they were not even indirectly responsible. Perhaps the victim passed through their town and no one offered him food or accompanied him on his way. Could they have done something that might have prevented the tragedy?
The Torah is teaching us that a community must take responsibility for every person.
Sometimes a person, especially a young person, feels lost or alone. They may be searching for friendship, meaning, or simply a place to belong.
Whose responsibility is it to notice and help?
The answer is: all of us.
The community could have said, “The way this boy is being treated is unfortunate, but it is not my problem.” They could have briefly attended his Bar Mitzvah and then hurried back to the Rebbe.
But the Rebbe was teaching something very different.
When someone feels excluded, we have a responsibility to help them feel that they belong. When someone is struggling, we cannot simply say, “It was not my fault.”
Every person matters. Every person belongs. And each of us has a responsibility to make sure they know it.
May this new month of Elul bring us closer to Hashem, and may we be blessed with a Shabbat of peace, joy, and true spiritual preparation for the coming year.
May we all be written and sealed for a good and sweet new year.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yitzi Hein