Dear Friend,
As Chanukah approaches, many of us start wondering the same thing:
What should we give the kids (or grandkids, or our friends’ kids) this year?
Toys are wonderful, and some children truly need them. But at the same time, we’re blessed that many kids today already have so much. What they crave most isn’t more things — it’s more meaning, more memories, and more us.
We want to give them something that makes them smile. But maybe the greatest gift we give our children isn’t another item wrapped in a box.
And then this week’s Parsha offered a powerful lens.
When Yaakov and Eisav reunite after so many years, each of them makes a short comment about what he owns.
Eisav says: “Yesh li rav — I have a lot.”
Yaakov responds: “Yesh li kol — I have everything.”
A subtle difference, yet it opens a window into two entire worldviews.
Eisav feels he has plenty, but could always use more. There’s an underlying sense of “almost”—close to satisfied, yet never quite there.
Yaakov speaks from a place of deep contentment. He feels full. Grateful. Whole. He has everything he needs.
Kabbalah explains it further:
• Rav means multitude — many pieces, lots of noise, a sense of fragmentation.
• Kol means wholeness — where what you have is aligned with who you are.
Rav is accumulation. Kol is alignment.
Rav fills closets. Kol fills hearts.
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And that takes us straight into the heart of Chanukah.
Historically, Jewish parents didn’t give gifts. They gave Chanukah gelt — real money, not the chocolate version.
Why? Because Chanukah comes from the word chinuch, education.
It was a way to teach children:
• how to spend wisely,
• how to save responsibly,
• and how to give tzedakah meaningfully.
It built values directly into the celebration — a counterpoint to the Greek emphasis on materialism and external beauty.
Some feel that giving money is impersonal. But gifts, too, can be rooted in kol rather than rav — in bonding, purpose, and Jewish pride.
Here are a few ideas:
## 1. Experiences That Last
These don’t have to cost much. Some of the best gifts are simple handwritten “vouchers” for time together:
• A bike ride with Dad
• Baking night with Mom
• A “Jewish Adventure Day” with a parent (a mitzvah outing + a special treat)
More significant experiences — like a small family trip — often stay with kids far longer than toys.
## 2. Jewish Skills & Creativity
• Menorah-painting or mezuzah-making kits
• A siddur or Chumash with a personal blessing inside
## 3. Books That Shape Identity
• Beautiful Jewish storybooks
• Graphic-novel Tanach or Jewish history sets ( we will be selling some Jewish graphic novels this Monday night)
• A “gratitude and light” journal to fill each night of Chanukah
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## 4. Gifts That Teach Tzedakah
• A small tzedakah “budget” the child gets to allocate
• “Adopting” a mitzvah project for the month
• A family donation — and showing them the real impact it makes
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At the end of the day, the goal is simple:
To help our children grow from “I have a lot” to “I have everything.”
From collecting things… to collecting meaning.
Toys fade.
Memories, connection, identity, and the light we kindle inside them — those are the real gifts of Chanukah.
Wishing you and your family a joyful, uplifting, light-filled Chanukah,
Rabbi Yitzi & Rishi Hein
Chabad of Pittsford